


hold me when i fall away

by cursingcursive (queenradi)



Series: honey, when you kill the lights and kiss my eyes [2]
Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, First Time, M/M, lukas is overwhelmed, philip is whiny and needy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 02:32:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8648359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenradi/pseuds/cursingcursive
Summary: they were supposed to be studying.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is technically a sequel to "I'm pulling on your heart to push my luck" but it can be read on its own. i'll probably write more for this little ~series. we'll see ;) 
> 
> title from "live wire" by oh wonder

They were supposed to be studying. The thought crossed Lukas’s mind several times, usually followed up by an immediate “ _ isn’t this cliche _ .” But even if studying had been the original plan, as soon as Philip sat down on Lukas’s bed and smiled up at him, completely at ease and comfortable, Lukas knew he was fucked. Him and his grades. 

Philip got as far as opening his biology textbook and clicking his pen open before Lukas stretched across the bed and nosed against his collarbone. 

“Hello,” Philip said. 

“Hm.” Lukas dragged his lips over his throat. One of his hands pushed the textbook off Philip’s lap.

“This was your idea,” Philip chastised. “You’re the one who wanted to study.”

“I was an idiot.” Lukas smiled up at him. His heart was doing hurried backflips in his chest. “You’re smart, you’ll be fine.” 

“Yeah, it’s you I’m worried about.” Philip pushed him away playfully. 

Lukas pouted. “Come on, I’m not that stupid.” 

Philip raised one eyebrow. “When’s the last time you passed a quiz in calc?” 

“Don’t be mean.” 

The laugh that came out of him hit Lukas right at the base of his throat. He leaned in again and pressed his face against Philip’s shoulder, smiling helplessly. Philip wrapped an arm around his shoulders and kept laughing into his hair. 

“Give me five minutes,” Lukas said. His hand slithered underneath Philip’s shirt, knuckles brushing his skin, running along the ridges of his ribs. 

“Five minutes for what?” Philip was already falling back onto the bed, dragging Lukas down with him. He kicked the textbook away and tossed the pen to the floor. 

“You know what.” Lukas kissed Philip’s throat. He pushed both his hands under Philip’s shirt, settled between Philip’s thighs and pressed their hips together. Philip sighed and threaded his hands through Lukas’s hair. 

“You say five minutes but what you really mean is thirty.” He was already arching up into Lukas’s touch. Satisfaction made Lukas start biting a bruise onto his shoulder. 

“You think I can’t make you come in five minutes?” 

“No, you probably can.” Philip wrapped his legs around Lukas’s hips. “I’m just saying that once you get started it’s a pain to get you to stop.” He smiled, playful and carefree, and Lukas’s heart crawled into his throat. 

“You want me to stop?” he asked. He was already halfway to getting Philip’s shirt completely off. The potential amount of bare skin was overwhelming. 

“No.” Philip leaned up and tugged his shirt off. “Fuck, no.” 

“Alright then. It’s decided.” Lukas pushed him back down and kissed him. 

Kissing Philip was unlike anything he’d ever done; the only thing that came close was when he was on his bike, but even then it wasn’t the same. Kissing Philip was willfully drowning, consciously jumping from a cliff, knowing you were going to crash the car and choosing to do it anyway. Kissing Philip drove nails into Lukas’s nerves, tied a rubber band around all of his ribs and pulled them tight. 

Having Philip half naked under him was all of that times a thousand. Touching Philip’s skin, moving his mouth down his chest, grabbing at his hips and his thighs, all of it clouded Lukas’s brain with gentle fire. He never wanted to stop. 

“Fuck,” Philip whined, when Lukas sucked a bruise into his inner thigh. “Oh,  _ fuck _ .” One of his hands cradled the back of Lukas’s head. His thighs trembled and Lukas smirked up at him. 

“You okay?” he asked. His thumb grazed the base of Philip’s dick. 

Philip arched his back, breathing hard. “No,” he snapped. His free hand brushed shakily through his own hair. “Hurry up,  _ god _ —” 

“You’re so needy,” Lukas remarked, but his nerves were shot to hell and he was desperate to do as Philip said. He was still wearing all of his clothes, but the time it would take to remove them was too damn long, so he settled for unbuttoning his jeans enough to relieve some of the pressure on his cock. Watching Philip’s face, his closed eyes and parted mouth and that precise jaw, Lukas purposefully licked up Philip’s dick, slow, slow, slow. 

Philip’s hips bucked. Lukas pinned him down with both hands and didn’t wait another second before sucking Philip down. The noise that simple action solicited was heavenly. Lukas’s heart thrummed in satisfaction. 

It all felt unhurried and liquidy, every moment drawn out and slowed down. Lukas could feel every twitch of Philip’s hand in his hair, every shiver of Philip’s thighs when he did something really right with his tongue. He felt his heartbeat in his groin, and the whole room burned around them. 

“Lukas, Lukas,” Philip gasped. His hips arched. Lukas pulled his mouth away and bit roughly at Philip’s hip, his hand sliding up his cock slow enough to make him whine. 

Philip was pretty all the time, pretty in a way that made Lukas’s heart hurt. But when he was stretched out on Lukas’s bed, blushing and shivering and needy, he was pretty in a way that punched bullet holes in Lukas’s chest. 

“Stop staring,” Philip said. 

“I’m not staring,” Lukas replied, definitely staring. He tightened his fingers around Philip’s dick just to watch the muscles in his thighs quiver. He ducked down and lapped wetly over a bruise he’d left on the soft skin of one. 

“ _ Do something _ ,” Philip gasped. Both of his hands clutched at Lukas’s shoulders. 

“I’m open to suggestions.” Lukas dragged his lips against the head of Philip’s cock. His own nerves were frayed, but he wanted Philip to snap first. 

Philip’s mouth fell open. His lips were slick and red, his eyes dark and wide. “Get up here.” 

Lukas grinned. He mouthed his way up Philip’s chest, still slowly stroking his cock, and made sure the rough fabric of his jeans dragged against Philip’s bitten thighs and hips. They both moaned, noses bumping, mouths brushing in an almost-kiss. 

There was a new urgency to Philip’s movements. He bit Lukas’s bottom lip hard and pulled insistently at his shirt. Lukas pulled away long enough to get the clothing off, and then Philip was shoving his jeans and briefs off. 

When they were both naked Lukas slid his hands around to Philip’s lower back. He gasped into the soft skin under Philip’s ear, clutched hard and pressed him down into the bed. 

“Yeah,” Philip breathed nonsensically. He was shaking harder, kissing Lukas with a wild abandon. “I want—” He stopped when Lukas pushed his thighs open wider. 

“What?” Lukas whispered. Their chests brushed. Lukas could practically taste Philip’s heartbeat. “Tell me, come on. Tell me.” Knowing the reaction it would solicit, Lukas reached one hand up into Philip’s hair and tugged, gentle once, then hard enough to tilt Philip’s head back and expose his neck. 

Sure enough, Philip whined and rocked up against him. His eyes fluttered, mouth falling open, and when Lukas pulled on his hair a third time he babbled, “Fuck me, fuck me, please, please, I want you to—” 

He hadn’t been expecting that. “ _ Fuck _ ,” Lukas gasped. He ducked down and kissed Philip hard. “Really?” Just the thought pushed him too close to coming. 

“Yes.” Philip grabbed him by the shoulders. “God,  _ yes. _ ” 

It wasn’t the first time Philip had said it. Ever since the first time in the city, whenever they fooled around it usually came back to Philip, on the edge, begging for Lukas to fuck him. They never got around to it, both of them too strung out and desperate. The closest they’d gotten yet was Lukas three fingers deep in Philip’s ass, and when Philip came unexpectedly Lukas followed within seconds. They’d been too tired to keep going. 

Now, though, Lukas felt like he had the entire electric grid for Tivoli buzzing away in his nervous system. Just the thought of actually fucking Philip had his blood burning, more than it did any other time he thought about it. 

And he thought about it a lot. 

Philip kissed his collarbone bitingly, making needy little noises against his skin. Lukas stroked the back of his head and gripped the back of one of his knees, lost in the sensation of soft skin and hot mouth. 

“Do you have a condom?” Philip whispered. 

Lukas huffed out a breath. “Yeah. Hang on.” He reluctantly untangled them and leaned over to his nightstand. While rifling through one of the drawers he felt Philip’s eyes on him, on his face and his shoulders and his spine. He turned back, condom and lube in hand, and sure enough Philip was watching him with hooded eyes. 

“Stop staring,” Lukas teased. 

“I’m not staring.” Philip smirked, tilting his head. His hair was a mess, sticking up all over from Lukas’s restless hands. Bruises littered his neck and chest. He was gorgeous. 

Lukas reached out and pressed a thumb against a bruise at the base of Philip’s throat. “Ow,” Philip breathed, but he arched his neck into the touch and licked his bottom lip. 

Interested, Lukas pressed a little harder, watching the mark turn from purple to almost white. Philip whined, arched harder. Lukas took his hand away. “Some other time,” he whispered, mostly to himself. 

Philip’s mouth dropped open and he said, “Fuck.” 

Reminded of their original plan, Lukas leaned back into Philip and kissed him hard. He cradled the side of Philip’s neck, thumb pressed to his pulsepoint, and shivered when Philip stroked his fingertips lightly down his spine. 

They kissed like that for long, languid moments, pushing their tongues together and brushing their teeth on lips. Lukas felt every gentle action to the core of his bones. He never wanted to leave, wanted to kiss Philip for the rest of his life. 

“Hey,” Philip mumbled against his mouth. 

“Hm?” 

“You were gonna fuck me, remember?” Philip smiled and nipped his jaw. 

“Right.” Lukas’s heartbeat surged. 

“Here.” Philip tugged the condom from his hand and tore it open. He tossed the wrapper aside and stroked the back of his hands on Lukas’s cock, smirking. Before Lukas could snap at him he rolled the condom on, biting at his shoulder and humming when the deed was done. 

“Hurry up,” Philip said. 

“Excuse you,” Lukas replied without heat. He fumbled for a second with the lube, but managed to spill more than enough onto his fingers. He kissed the satisfied smirk away from Philip’s mouth and pushed his legs open. His knuckles dragged down the inside of one thigh, making him shiver for the thousandth time that afternoon. 

Philip’s mouth fell open against Lukas’s neck when the first finger pushed in. Lukas kissed his throat, slick with sweat, and murmured, “Tell me when you’re ready.” 

“Yeah,” Philip gasped. His voice was strained. His arms tightened around Lukas’s shoulders. Every muscle in his body was pulled tight, thighs quivering where they clenched around Lukas’s hips. Lukas put his free hand at the base of Philip’s throat and squeezed once. 

“Relax,” he whispered. His own voice was wrecked. 

The second finger was easier, and Philip rocked his hips into it. He made lovely, hitching sounds, licked his lips every few seconds, tilted his head way back when Lukas hit the right spot inside of him. Lukas couldn’t breathe right, had to duck his head and gasp against Philip’s chest. He felt the frantic roll of Philip’s hips against his hand, and when he pushed his fingers in he made sure to twist just right. 

Philip’s whole body jolted. “Fuck!” he gasped. He dug his fingernails into the damp skin at the back of Lukas’s neck. “Do that again—” 

Lukas did, and did it a third time, desperate for the wild noise Philip made every time it happened. He was beautiful to watch, to touch, to kiss and to fuck. Lukas wasn’t letting him ever leave the bed. 

Three fingers had Philip grabbing the pillow and swearing constantly, his back incessantly arched, his thighs locked around Lukas’s ribs. He screwed his eyes shut and whined, panting. 

“Okay?” Lukas gasped. He hit the spot again, just to see the gorgeous lines of Philip’s body go tight again. 

“God, god, god—” Philip shook everywhere. “Lukas, hurry  _ up _ —” 

“Hang on,” Lukas chuckled, though the last thing he really wanted was to wait. He pushed his fingers into Philip again, slower, harder, and made sure that the drag out was torturous. Philip whined at the feeling, hips arching and chasing his fingers. The tendons in his neck flexed. 

“Ready?” Lukas asked. 

“Yes,” Philip snapped. His legs fell away from Lukas. They were still shaking. “Come on, baby, fuck me already.” 

The nickname was a fish hook in Lukas’s heart. His hands shook. He couldn’t breathe, but it was amazing, everything was on fire and he loved it. He kissed Philip’s chest, his neck, his jaw, his bottom lip. Philip threaded his fingers in Lukas’s hair and brought his thighs back to bracketing his hips. 

Lukas used too much lube on his cock, he knew, but he also knew that Philip had never done this part, and he really did not want to hurt Philip. Not like this. 

“Okay,” Philip whispered into his ear. “You’re okay, I want this. Yeah? You too?” 

“Yeah.” Lukas pressed his face to the side of Philip’s neck. “Me too.” 

“Go slow.” Philip kissed his jaw. 

“Slow,” Lukas repeated. He pushed Philip’s thighs apart with one hand and pressed his cock into him with the other. They both sighed, their breaths hitching at the same time. Philip tightened everywhere; his hands in Lukas’s hair, his legs around Lukas’s hips, his whole body when Lukas pressed inside of him. 

“Slow,” Philip gasped again, but Lukas couldn’t have gone slower if he’d tried. It felt like his heart was beating on the outside of his chest. It was all unending heat and glorious pressure, and when he pulled away he met Philip’s frantic gaze. 

“Fuck,” Lukas said. He cupped the side of Philip’s face. His thumb pressed at Philip’s lower lip, and when Philip sucked it into his mouth Lukas’s hips jerked forward. 

Philip’s back bowed, moving into it. “ _ Yes _ ,” he moaned. He was ruined. 

So was Lukas. He propped his forearms against the bed on either side of Philip’s head and ducked down to kiss him, open-mouthed and hot. His hips rocked forward, pushing deep into Philip and making him arch and moan. 

It was all more than Lukas had expected, more than he’d hoped. Having Philip under him was overwhelming and perfect. That Philip had let him do this, that Philip was rocking down against his cock and making fantastic little noises every time he moved just right was immense and staggering. 

Philip scratched down Lukas’s back. “Harder,” he whined. 

Lukas dropped his head to Philip’s chest and snapped his hips forward, shoved in as deep as he could get. Philip swore and spasmed under him. Lukas nearly came on the spot. 

“Fuck yeah,” Philip breathed. “You’re so good. I knew you would be, I knew you’d fuck me like this—” 

Lukas swore and fucked in harder, one hand grabbing roughly at the back of Philip’s thigh. He rolled his hips, pushed Philip’s legs open more and fucked him down into the bed. 

“Oh,  _ fuck _ —” Philip’s voice broke. His hands trembled against Lukas’s back. His dick was hard and leaking onto his stomach, bouncing every time Lukas drove his hips harder against Philip’s. “ _ So fucking good, Lukas— _ ” His head was tipped back, neck and spine arched, shaking everywhere. Tears clung to his eyelashes. 

_ I did that _ , Lukas thought.  _ I’m doing this to him _ . He felt drunk. He felt more sober than he’d ever been. He felt like Philip was all that mattered. 

Philip  _ was _ all that mattered. It was Lukas’s new truth. It was Lukas’s only truth. 

The next time he fucked his hips forward he made sure to keep them there, to push the head of his cock against the right spot inside of Philip. When he did, Philip’s resolve broke and a sob tore from his throat. Lukas’s nerves became lightning at the sound, and he rocked his hips against that spot harder, desperate to hear the noise again. 

Philip cried out, shaking violently, still arched, every inch of his body pulled tight. Lukas felt full to bursting just looking at him. His bones ached. He felt every tremor from Philip right down to his core. 

“Fuck, fuck,” Philip whined. “Lukas, I’m gonna come, Lukas,  _ Lukas fuck— _ ” 

They kissed, hard and hot, and Lukas fucked him as rough as he dared. His heart punched at his ribcage. He was so close to coming he could taste blood on his tongue. It was probably from Philip, because when he pulled away he saw that Philip’s lower lip was torn and red was smeared down his chin. 

Lukas put his hand at Philip’s throat. His thumb smeared the blood even more. The muscles in his lower back burned every time he rolled his hips, but the sounds coming from Philip were so obscene and wonderful he didn’t want to stop for anything. 

“Come on,” Lukas gasped. “Come on, baby, come for me—” 

Philip rocked down onto his cock. His hands fisted the pillow on either side of his head. His eyes locked with Lukas’s, wide and desperate and so damn dark. He was gorgeous. Lukas was never going to stop being surprised by how gorgeous he was. 

“I’m—” Philip closed his eyes. Lukas tightened his fingers around his throat for a split second. Philip tensed around his cock. He shivered violently, whining, and Lukas realized he’d come without touching himself. 

“ _ Fuck _ ,” he gasped. He fucked into Philip harder, swearing, his throat dry, breathing on fire. Philip whimpered beneath him, hips hitching upwards on every thrust. He lasted barely another minute, coming hard and shoving his face against Philip’s chest. 

They trembled against each other for long, quiet moments. Philip’s thighs shook around Lukas’s hips. Lukas breathed hard against Philip’s chest, everything too hot and perfect all at once. 

Finally, he lifted his head. Philip’s eyes were still closed, his mouth parted and red, blood smeared down his chin, sweat glistening against the bruises all over his throat. He was beautiful. Lukas kissed his slack mouth, his cheek, his jaw. 

“Fuck,” Philip whispered. He smiled weakly, eyes fluttering open. 

“Yeah,” Lukas whispered back. He pressed a hand to Philip’s stomach and pulled out of him slowly, removing the condom as quick as he could and then carefully draping himself back over Philip. 

“You were pretty great,” Philip noted lightly. 

Lukas lifted his head and raised one eyebrow. “Just pretty great? I made you cry, I fucked you so good.”

Philip blushed. “I did not  _ cry _ .” 

Lukas pointedly used the tips of two fingers to wipe away tear tracks from Philip’s temple. “Uh huh,” he said smugly. “I also made you come with just my dick.” 

“I’ll give you that one,” Philip laughed. He haphazardly draped his arms around Lukas’s neck and kissed his chin. “Are you proud of yourself?” 

Lukas nodded, grinning. “A little bit.” He kissed Philip. “Thanks for letting me fuck you. You were pretty great, too.” 

“Really? Apparently I just laid there and  _ cried _ .” 

“Oh, please.” The memory of every desperate movement Philip made against him nearly set Lukas’s blood on fire again. He fought it vehemently, and eyed the mess of cum and sweat on Philip’s chest and stomach. “Want to take a shower?” he said. 

Philip hummed. “Yeah. But I don’t want to move.” He smiled wittily. “You should carry me.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Hey, you just fucked me hard and made me cry, the least you can do is carry me to the bathroom.” Philip fluttered his eyelashes. “Please?” 

Lukas pretended to be put out. “Yeah, alright. Whatever.” He kissed the bruises littering Philip’s throat and mumbled, “You’re a spoiled brat.” 

“Yeah,” Philip agreed. “You treat me well.” 

They smiled at each other, touching everywhere, ruffled and sex-ruined, and Lukas hoped he never had to give any of it up. Hoped he never had to give Philip up. 

As if reading his mind, Philip whispered, “Want me to stay the night?” 

Lukas nodded. “Yeah,” he replied. “Yeah, I want you to.” 

**Author's Note:**

> [here's my tumblr,](http://ronansracingheart.tumblr.com/) come talk to me about these boys. or anything. i'm up for whatever.


End file.
